Tis the season…….

To be jolly?

Not so sure about jolly this year, my little man is spending Christmas with his dad, it’s our first Christmas without my dad in a long, seemingly untending year of firsts without him. So jolly? No………quiet, reflective, sad…….but it’s Christmas.

On the flip side, my two grandies will be so excited. They are more aware this year, we need to make it special if not for anyone else but for them. It’s a year of new memories being made, old memories being remembered and how we blend the two and create something special to keep us going.

That being said, I was not planning on decorating a tree this year. Without my little one here and spending Christmas at my mums I didn’t see the point. Until…….my little man asked me when I was putting a tree up? I explained all the above reasons and said I wasn’t. The tears came and I saw the pain in his young eyes. ‘but mum, you have to have a tree, it’s Christmas’ . He looked so deflated.

I can’t do much to change our situation, I can’t be with him on Christmas Day, I can’t, no matter how many miracles I have up my sleeve, bring dad back to be with us……..I can however control how we deal with it.

So, my son wants a tree, my son gets a tree !!!!!!


It is a week sooner than normal, but forgive me for wanting to make it special as soon as possible so I could send him some photos. He called me when he saw them, with tears in his eyes he simply said ‘thank you, I love you mummy’.

Love……..that’s what Christmas is all about isn’t it? Family past and present, memories old and new.

However you spend your Christmas I wish you love, peace, health and a feeling of being safe. Regardless of what has come at you this year, look at Christmas with your loved ones for what it is………special.


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