depression, Fibromyalgia/CFS, Life

Stories to tell.

Well it’s been an interesting week or two. Emotional highs and lows, some caring and I must say humbling moments. Pain off the charts and a temper to match……the temper I try so hard to keep under wraps and aimed at myself rather than anyone else, but it’s there just bubbling under the surface a lot of the time. A temper born from frustration mainly. I’m the first to admit my weaknesses but I can tell you for every ‘why me’ moment there is always a ‘try me’ one that follows.

An emotional upset brings a certain level of stress, that heightened stress brings pain and pain increases fatigue, increases frustration increases anger…….and so the circle is complete. Those that follow me on a regular basis would know there’s also a dash of depression and anxiety that gets thrown into the cocktail shaker…..I’m definitely a shaken not stirred girl. I regularly counter this with a healthy bout of sarcasm and humour, if I didn’t I would be miserable and that’s no good for me or anyone else.

I arranged to have coffee with a customer after my doctors appointment last Thursday, we have been trying to arrange it since October, my health always got in the way. When I say customer I really mean a friend who I met originally as my customer. I’m lucky enough after nearly 12 years with the company to have a handful of ‘customers’ that I now call friends. I do miss seeing some of them on a regular basis now I’m not at work on the shop floor, I’m lucky enough however to have some as friends on Facebook so am able to stay in contact that way. One of these friends followed me from store to store whenever I moved location. She was, has been and still is an absolute inspiration to me. She has battled her own health demons, she’s still here thank goodness but she always wore a smile.

Then there’s another who always made me laugh, she still does on Facebook, we had a friendly banter that you just don’t use with customers. Both of these ladies I have known for 11 years….The friend I had coffee with, saw me going through this ‘thing’ 3 years ago, she would then stick her head in nearly every day just to check on me. She’d tell me I looked tired and needed to take better care of myself or luckily there were even times she said I looked good…..either way what it meant to me was simply that she cared. The one thing I can say is don’t let people say ‘retail is just a job’ it can be so much more than that. What you give out you get back ten fold. I’m so very grateful for these friendships and these ladies mean more to me than they realise.

I recently, as you may have noticed began writing about some social topics. One, because I found them interesting but mainly because I thought you would probably all be sick of my life by now. I was very humbled to be told by someone to keep it up, they enjoy what I have to say and that I make her laugh. It was a reminder as to why I started this blog in the first place……

1. To make people laugh.

2. To show that there is always a story behind someone’s smile.

3. To bring awareness to mental health issues.

4. To remind people by speaking out you can in fact make a difference.

5. And to hopefully in some way inspire people to speak their own story.

Everyone has a story, no matter how insignificant you may think it is, there is always someone willing to hear it. I have been able to get out with my camera twice in the past two weeks, not as much as I’d like but as much as I could. With the ‘thing’ comes limitations and as one friend told me I need to take heed of them……I believe it’s called pacing, yes I’ve known of it since I first became ill in 2013, I even tried it!!!!! It turns out I’m not very good at it. This time round I am now making a determined effort to pace myself. If I am out for more than 3 hours I am flat on my back for the rest of the day and the next. It’s not much fun but for now it’s life, my life and I have to make the most of it.

So, share your stories, be kind to everyone you come across. Remember that cranky old lady down the road may just be lonely and a cheerful smile and hello on a regular basis  could be all she needs.

Kindness starts with one person and it can be infectious if you let it.


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