depression, Fibromyalgia/CFS, Life

love and money…..

Two things that we all wish for, work for and as humans,  we need to survive.  Love and money however, do not always go hand in hand. If anything they can be poles apart when you are talking about relationships. As we grow we all have our own unique opinions on love and what we each need. What type, how much or how little constitutes a loving relationship. Money is one of those tricky ones…..if you haven’t got it, you want it. If you’ve only got a little, you want more. You get more but you don’t want to spend it or you are sensible and you have it, manage it wisely and like to share your success. I’m sure you all know which category you slot into …….I’m in the got a little , want more hole. I’m also in the share it around hole…….even when I don’t really have enough to do so. My theory is what good is having it if you can’t enjoy it and see the pleasure it can bring others. This is probably why I will always be in the ‘have a little’ place in life.

Love???? Now this is a bit trickier. I can tell you most people that marry for money are very rarely happy. Sure they can purchase whatever they want, but at the end of the day your possessions can’t cuddle up to you in bed at night. Those that have no money but they have love are not necessarily happy either. Lack of funds puts such severe strain in relationships and is the number one reason marriages fail.  You need a solid, communicative relationship whether you have money or not. If you can’t communicate, you have nothing to work on.

Narcissts use money to control……like Uncle Scrooge they sit upon their pile of money and remind you it’s theirs and theirs alone. If it wasn’t for their money you would have nothing, be nothing. Does this sound familiar? If it does, you need to remind them that, with or without them or their money you are a person in your own right.  Sometimes the main thing you need when dealing with a narcissist is to stand your own ground and give back equal to what you get.

Do not let anyone make you feel less than the person you are.

Women in particular fall victim to this, we lose ourselves many times over….when we marry and change our names,when we become mothers and give  up our full time job……we become someone else’s something and lose our individual identity in doing so. The women  that are in this position and in a relationship with a narcissist become nothing. Not only to their partner but eventually  to themselves too. Before I start getting hate mail from men, yes I know there are plenty of narcissistic women out there doing this exact same thing to men, but I can only speak from a female perspective and from personal experience.

You are someone… are you and nobody else can do you as well as you can. You can’t become someone else to please another, if you do you lose you altogether. If you are lucky enough to find true love and money, I implore you to stay true to yourself . What’s the point if you can’t.

You are special……don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.




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